What are some of the benefits of making me your girlfriend

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating... she's starting to sound like my wife...

Why don't they play cards in the jungle?

She gifted him a golden samurai helmet

Don’t send it back honey, just pick them out.

I saw a nice flock of cows today...

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife but she found out I was only after my money...

You mean to tell us our top scientists have brought Foshata back?

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Excessive oily discharge is the PURPOSE of this medication.

It's pointless to write with a broken pencil...

Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory?

Will I be okay doctor?

FYI: after Monday and Tuesday even the week says WTF...

If we come from dust we will return to dust

Pineapple on pizza?

Darth Vader once said... Give a man a fish ... he'll eat for a day... teach a man to force choke, and people will give him that fish...

If women are always right... then how do lesbians settle arguments...?

My date was impressed that I work with animals... I didn't tell hear that I'm a butcher...

Those who stir the shitpot should have to lick the spoon...

Being kissed in your sleep in the purest form of love

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive... a wedding cake....

A girl with a flat chest is like a desert... there's nothing there but it's still hot...

I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian